The season is upon us! The season of traveling to visit potential in-laws. Young Mormon couples will be putting their partners through the refining fire of holidays in hopes that a potential spouse, and ring, come out of it. Holidays used to be just about food and family, but it’s also the testing grounds for future relationship statuses. If you are dating someone seriously, or just met someone on tinder who is attractive enough to take home to appease your family who were expecting grandkids years ago, then the holiday season is more like a test to see if Mom and Dad approve as much as you do.
Essentially, Thanksgiving and Christmas are just huge DTRs but with the entire family. Here is some counsel to come out of the holiday season as a spouse, and not an ex.
Be Yourself! But Not TOO Yourself
It’s always good to be yourself! The problem is when “yourself” is not the type of person that will win over the In-Laws. In those cases, be someone else! Your every action will be scrutinized by the parent of your same gender. Fathers will notice when the young man courting his daughter doesn’t treat her like the literally princess she is. Mother will know if you have been faking it in the home-ec department. I mean, who doesn’t know how to make homemade whipped cream?!? If you have a nasty habit of putting your feet on things, leaving your dirty plates at the table, or are generally rude, you may want to consider being someone a bit better for the holidays.
Do Your Homework
It is very important that you learn how your possible In-Laws behave and act. What is their sense of humor? What do they do for a living? What callings have they held? Are there any weird quirks or traditions you should be informed of before you meet them? The last thing you want to happen is a bad reaction to your sarcasm they don’t understand, of accidentally insulting their job or hobby. Knowing they are former mission presidents and a current stake president should prompt you to run through the temple recommend interview questions before you arrive. You will most likely get the same questions asked to you subtly throughout the break (So, Johnny, how completely do you pay your tithing again?).
Learn to Love Their Family as Your Own
If you’re serious enough to bring your crush halfway across the country, or the hour drive North of Provo, then you must be at least entertaining the idea of marriage. When you marry someone, you marry their entire family. All their good, bad, and crazy will become yours. Their crazy drug dealing cousin who moonlighted as a madam is your cousin now. Their brother that got his degree in horticulture and dreams of owning his own flower shop and is totally going to do the flowers for your wedding, will be your brother now. Better learn to love these people, you’re going to be relying on them to babysit for you a few years from now.