Church Announces ‘Trivia Crack’ to Replace Sunday School

On Saturday afternoon, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints released a surprise statement about the future of education in its Sunday school classes.

“With the abundance of iPhones in our meetings, the church is taking steps to stay on top of technological changes and advancements,” said David Breve of the church PR department. In an attempt to remain technologically savvy, the LDS church has released multiple apps that distribute spiritual content including scriptures, talks, and lesson manuals. Breve continued by saying, “In our efforts to teach and engage with the population of the Church, the brethren have decided to make Trivia Crack the new tool of education in Sunday schools.” This news comes with reports that most LDS millennial’s are already spending their lessons learning the answers to important questions like, “What does Russell call the bird that likes chocolate in the movie Up?,” or “In ‘How I Met Your Mother’, how DID he meet the child’s mother?”

Seeing this as an opportunity to expand their teaching efforts, the LDS church plans to inundate trivia crack with gospel related questions. “We have been in talks to create a new section of trivia crack with a temple icon. When players land on that icon, they will be asked questions relating to that year’s curriculum,” stated David Reich of the Church’s IT department.

Elder Jeffrey R Holland was asked about this new development and was quoted as saying, “I’m tremendously excited about the use of trivia crack in Sunday school. This game can make learning difficult parts of our history more fun! I play trivia crack against the brethren and have found it to be quite enjoyable. I always win, but they like trying to beat me.”

Pres. Dieter F. Uchtdorf responded to Elder Holland’s winning claims with, “Oh, Jeff says he always wins, but I always take his geography token whenever I challenge him. I mean, I was a pilot for several years (if you didn’t know) so I know much more about geography than he does .”

Pres. Boyd K. Packer of the quorum of the Twelve Apostles doesn’t usually hold was such nonsensical games, but LOVES trivia crack. He said, “I don’t hold with things like this, especially those that denote addiction, but I have found this game of trivia to be quite enjoyable. The other day I was playing against Dallin, and the question ‘Will the Ordain Women movement be successful in obtaining the priesthood?’ arose. All of the options were ‘no’ so it was a fairly easy round.”

When asked if there would be any other far-reaching effects of this development, Thomas S. Monson replied that they are playing with the idea of using the game for temple recommends. “We can also have worthiness trivia questions added. We would encourage members to challenge their bishops for the recommend icon. If you win, it’s pretty easy to assume you are worthy. If you miss a few questions then it notifies your bishop. We may even see a day where just presenting your trivia crack score at the temple could be sufficient for entry.”

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